chronicled & illustrated

winds of change
Originally uploaded by nuanc

I got to a stopping point in my writing today slightly before I got to the word count I wanted.
I could have pushed it, but I felt it needed to rest. The story is at a crucial juncture and, to tell you the truth, I am not quite sure what’s going to happen. If I had continued today, my fear is that I would have gone off on a tangent.

Sometimes in NaNoWriMo we have to just keep writing even though we know we don’t know where we’re going. I do it if I’m falling too far behind in the word count or if I am uninspired. But sometimes it’s okay to wait. I’m close to being on track with the word count and I am feeling inspired. With both of those things working for me, I’d rather let a little time pass and give it some unfocused, C-mindful simmering before I write what comes next.

That C-mind stuff is what happens in the shower or while chopping vegetables or taking a walk or even cleaning the house (not that any of us are getting that done this month, right?). It’s what happens when we’re into our novels enough that the characters and the situation are with us even when we aren’t directing our minds toward them. When we’re engaged in an activity that doesn’t require our full attention, our minds will sometimes drift across the landscape of story we’re working on and come up with the best ideas! It’s one of the most fun things about writing.

That’s what I’m hoping for tonight.

In the meantime, I took some photos. My camera has literally been on the shelf since I got back from Houston just before Halloween. This evening I heard the wind coming up and I looked outside. It was just before dusk and the cornstalks in the garden were doing fantastic things in the gusting wind. I got a new flash when I was in Houston and it is supposed to not only help me with the low light but also capturing motion. One of my frustrations is that I haven’t had time to learn to use it!

Happily, I took the time to get the camera and go outside. I got the shot above as well as some other blurry ones that I love. I still don’t know what I’m doing with the flash but that’s one of the great things about digital: you can see the mistakes you’ve made immediately. Instantaneous feedback! It felt good to shoot some photos, so much so that I’m vowing to take a few everyday through the rest of the month. It’s not as if it takes that much time and it feels great to *focus* on something other than writing.

Sorry.

I also uploaded an excerpt to my nano profile page.

complimentary,
originally uploaded by nuanc.

Did you feel it? It hit me last night.

September.

The weather turned windy and cool. All the little needle-y things I didn’t get done this summer suddenly seem vitally important—even though last week the thought of them caused no sparks in the nerve endings of my brain. Suddenly it wasn’t summer anymore.

{{ Sigh }}

It was an excellent summer. We stayed home and worked. How’s that for a good time? But, it was both what I wanted and needed.

My husband relaxed with me into joint projects on our house that had been neglected all last summer. We did mortaring and carpentry and painting and poured concrete and dug up rocks and dirt and then filled the holes back in. Now that Labour Day’s over, we have a new deck that is brilliantly blue (see above) and already well-loved.

Next summer will be for putting a roof over it and railings and so on (and on and on), but I’m already so pleased to be able to step out my front door onto what is completed. Barry’s reaction is also gratifying. I knew I missed and would love the porch, but he’s at least as happy with it as I am and can’t wait to get out there. Somehow being up on a porch (rather than down on the grass where our patio table and chairs used to be) is more relaxing—almost hypnotizing. It’s given us what my sister calls the ‘rag-doll effect.’

In addition to that outside work, I was able to complete our charity’s website (see EPIC at epiccharity.com) and I finished a short story. See my progress bars! Whoo! So what if I didn’t get much done on the quilt or the novel….that’s what September is for?

Not likely. I have all those needling things, plus a webzine that was sorely neglected all summer, and two trips upcoming. I go to Maine to see my lovely son and granddaughter for the last half of September and to Houston for most of October. November is National Novel Writing Month and then Christmas. Well. No wonder I love summer so much.

I always thought that life would slow down as I got older. Not sure where I got that idea but it’s completely the opposite. Days, weeks, months fly by with increasing speed.

However, there’s nothing like a good stay-at-home summer with lots of completed goals to set up the rest of the year.

NEEDLING THINGS TO-DO LIST:

EPIC Minutes
New EPIC Business Cards, Letterhead and Mailing Labels
New Darvintyne Business Cards
Book Club on Saturday night: Reading, Cleaning, Cooking
New Posts to PCQ
Letter to PCQ Subscribers

Now. That’s not so bad, is it?

mirror image,
originally uploaded by nuanc.

I have a great new camera. I’ve always dreamed of one day getting a really good camera but put it off and off even when digital made photography immediate and playful and when the internet made it possible to share and get comments from people all over the world. I put it off because I have a superstition about getting good/expensive equipment. It sometimes signals the death of a creative era.

It may be a superstition, but it may also be learning. Years ago, not long after purchasing a huge roll of canvas and being given a fancy wooden easel, I stopped painting.

The problem is: you get the fancy equipment and suddenly there are expectations of producing something excellent. Suddenly it’s changed from: see what nice results I can pull off with my simple digital camera? to: if I can’t get fabulous results with this camera, I’ve wasted the money and let myself down. Suddenly the playfulness leaves and Things Get Serious.

I’m not letting that happen with this camera. It’s just the reason I put off getting one. The only way I could truly let myself down with my new camera is if I fail to use it. If the last week is any indication of future use, it seems I’m likely to be at the opposite end of that extreme. I’ve taken hundreds and hundreds of shots and the word “obsession” has been used several times.

But this all is a reminder of the kind of mental distortion that can happen around creative endeavors.

Anyway, as it happens, I am drawn to visual distortion. The photograph I used today is one taken with the new camera. It’s a view of my office area reflected in an old, cheaply-made mirror—thus the funky distortion. It’s my reminder that even if I’m still getting quite a few out of focus shots (it’s only been a week AND I don’t have a tripod yet!) that my photographs will always reflect my own vision of the world, distorted or otherwise.

After hours and hours of work over the last two and a half weeks, I have only one page left to finish (and—oh well, yeah—thousands of tiny adjustments and corrections)

Three books in the works (Galveston, Causeway and Nova) and none of them are thrilling me.

Just heard about this technique from a friend; I decided to try it on my mysterious leg pain since “western” medicine isn’t offering a cure. whatthehell…

the ins and outs of the Nikon D80 AND a computer drawing tablet and pen!

birthday present!,
originally uploaded by nuanc.

Today is my birthday. This is a wonderful surprise gift from my husband. I’m thrilled to bits and pieces and would be out taking photos except that the battery has to charge first.
I should be reading the manual but I can only absorb so much at a time. Especially before I’ve even had a chance to take one shot!

Here’s a poem written on my birthday in 1995, revised for today

Birth Day

Sunday,
glistening glinting
but growing grayer
Yesterday,
not as showy
but with morning rolling into
an afternoon of full summer
changing to cool deep night
full of fire flies and intimacy
dissolving into the first thunderstorm
of a dry season

Today
is no memory
yet
present moment
elusive fleeting
already gone
capture impossible
unlike those fire flies
who let themselves
be caught
Let me catch
this moment more fully
these summery sights
this singular smell
symphonious overlapping sounds

As I write,
the sun comes
through clustering clouds
for the third time
I know
because I am witness
that today is no better
than the last two days
I know
because it is now
if there were but one
in all of creation
this would be
the day

I ended my last post by saying I’d be busy for a while with my school girl friends who were going to be visiting from Texas. But instead I’m here because they opted out of coming. It was a shock, as they cancelled abruptly the day before they were to arrive and the decision was already made without my input.

I’m still wandering around picking up the pieces.

My friend decided not to come because the forecast for the week was for rain. She says it’s just a postponement and not a cancellation but that just makes me laugh because when—I wonder—does she think she can come to Nova Scotia with a guaranteed forecast of no rain?

I’m using this photo manipulation I call “Peeling Rain” since it’s supposedly a rainy post.

Peeling rain seems especially appropriate since it’s NOT a rainy morning here in Cape Breton. It’s a gorgeous, perfect summer’s day. Bright sun, light breeze, slightly cool. All I can think is that it’s their loss. They…stuck as they are in blisteringly hot Texas for the summer. And yet, it is my loss as well. I would have loved to have shared this day with them.

Here is my proof of the wonders of a Nova Scotian summer day. All taken this morning, July 5th:

“inner sunshine”

“joy around”

“bee happy”

“blue breeze”

“volunteers”

“purple non-rain”

made myself laugh with that title.

So, I will attempt to regain my focus and work on that almost finished short story…or maybe I should go lie in the hammock and soak up the warmth before it starts to rain.

Cheers.

attention span,
originally uploaded by nuanc.

Summer isn’t good for concentrating. Maybe it’s the leaves rustling or the birds singing or the clouds rolling by. I’d say it’s the heat, but here in Nova Scotia, we haven’t had any yet. It’s summer’s long days of sunlight that can both seem to last forever and pass by in a flash. The on again/ off again activity level. Hurry up and relax.

This is a piece I did the other night after having put a big push on to get several end of the month articles published in the zine followed by the subscriber’s email update. I needed a creative activity that was involving without being involved. For several hours I immersed myself in my photos and photoshop. (I don’t really use Photoshop. For this kind of photo manipulation I use a super simple product called ArcSoft Photostudio. Easy and quick.)

I keep way too many of my digital photos. That’s because I use many of them in these layered art pieces and it’s hard to predict which will be useful later on. I’ve always enjoyed the idea that there are no failures—only the raw material for other kinds of art. I used to tear up paintings I didn’t feel were successful. Then I’d use the wonderfully torn fragments as collage material for others. This is the same.

For the next week all my attention will be with my childhood friends who’ll be visiting from Texas. We’ll laugh.

Tra la~~~